Premonition.

I just came to realization with my gender.
As a woman, I have a certain intuition.
People call me crazy when I sense things aren't right.
I may be paranoid. I may imagining. I may be wrong.
But the fact can't be denied.
My premonitions are spot on.

Jacoby.

My friend made the news!

There's Something Missing.

Reasons I am pathetic:

1. I set an alarm to go off in the middle of the night so I could check my Restaurant City.
2. I watched Jonas Brothers and enjoyed it.
3. I think the healthy alternative to fast-food is Taco Bell.
4. I collect Batman items.
5. I think $3 is too much to pay for a shirt at the thrift store.
6. I forgot my iPod at school and have to drive to Alabama on Friday.
7. My favorite gift I got for Chistmas was a pair of socks from AE.
8. I don't think my friends really like me.
9. I am writing this blog.
10. I don't want to go to County Tourney because I don't want to have to tell people that I still don't know what I am doing with my life.
11. I am going on a mission trip in three days and haven't been to church in over a year.
12. I worry too much.
13. I am still surprised when my family disappoints me.
14. I am still surprise to find I disappoint my family.
15. I can't help but feel alone.

Where is that cockeyed optimist I once was?
I have to find her again.
And to do that I need to know what's missing.

Google It.

Note to self:
Stop eating food.

Testing, Testing.

http://www.personalityresearch.org/tests.html

September.

I have been dancing to this all morning.

Rap-tastic.

It's like the
Tik-tock of an analog clock
The buzz you get off a nico-free cigarette
Any dope should see
That you smokin' me
And it don't make sense
Flip a penny, no one wins

But shawty you gotta know
Where ever you go
Imma follow.
You warm me up, buttercup
I'm goo, a marshmallow
Tomorrow's when I'll leave
If today is 25 hours
You'll need some
Daylight savings time
Super-super powers

So now that we've established
There's no where I'm a going
I wanna know you feel it too
So keep the feeling flowing

It's like the
Tik-tock of an analog clock
The buzz you get off a nico-free cigarette
Any dope should see
That you smokin' me
And it don't make sense
Flip a penny, no one wins

It's unlikely
This isn't like me
But you struck the right key
When you were playing me
I dig your fingers,
I love your lips,
I want to see
How you sail your ship

So don't stop,
Imma pop the coffee shop
Imma take your clothes off
Imma make you, OH SHIT.

Hold it, step back
I didn't mean to say that
I fuck with you, I fuck it up
I fuck it up, you fuck with her
So let's take it slow
Gain control
You're different as I said before
And bad as I wanna score
I really want something more

It's like the
Tik-tock of an analog clock
The buzz you get off a nico-free cigarette
Any dope should see
That you smokin' me
And it don't make sense
Flip a penny, no one wins

Now can you understand
I don't just need a man
I need you, can you need me too?
If you just wanna play
Put my name on lay-away
Come back when you can pay
Just don't leave me on display

It's like the
Tik-tock of an analog clock
The buzz you get off a nico-free cigarette
Any dope should see
That you smokin' me
And it don't make sense
Flip a penny, no one wins

Qwerty.

To Be Continued...

I wish I could be half of the person I was in my dreams.
Half as bold.
Half as attractive.
Half as creative.
Half as smart.
Half as lucky.
Half as strong.

I am beginning to wonder if how I percieve myself is mostly dreams or reality.
Maybe I am underestimating my charisma. Maybe I am selling myself short.

However, the more I live in my dreams, the more off-putting I become. Does living in my dreams make me too proud, too confident, too cocky?

Humbleness seems to work, but that can also come across as fishing for compliments, or insecurity.

I know I am not the girl I think I am, but I always look at the extremes.
I need to find my own golden mean.

Siblings.

Today I played Monopoly with my brother and his girlfriend.
I won. Twice.

Absolute.

I didn't know why I thought I would be good enough.
At least I was happy for a little while.

Priorities.

Things that are more important than studying for my finals:

-Reading Cosmo
-Playing Restaurant City
-Sleeping
-Eating
-Watching movies starring Paul Rudd
-Hanging out with my friends
-Laughing at comedy
-Making coffee
-Cuddling
-Drinking Nesquik
-Fixing my hair to stick straight up
-Looking at pictures of child stars from the 90's
-Coloring in my Batman coloring book
-Cleaning my room
-Bathing
-Planning
-Facebooking
-Taking pictures of my face
-Posting a blog

It looks like I have a lot to do today!

Emoticon.

Downtown.

Tradition.

Good night.
-Night.
Love you.
-Love you too.
See you in the morning.
-I'll look forward to it.
You will?
-Yes, I will.

Sleepy.

The sandman told me you'd be waiting
For me on my pillow
So I close these eyes, believe his lies
And there you are, but I know

All I've got's a one-way-ticket
Down lovers-lane
Got to get back to reality
What a shame, shame, shame

Still I'll take my chances on not taking chances

Don't wind me up, I'm tired and
I know we'll grow apart.
I'd rather love in my sleep
Because dreams can't break my heart

New Music.

What I listened to today:
CocoRosie
Gray or Blue- Jaymay
The Blow- True Affection
Joanna Newsome- The Book of Right-On
Cat Power
Nikodemus
Lullatone
Mieko
Mirah

Kid Cudi. Drake.

Senior Pic.

Bad Romance. Lol.

Uniquely Normal.

Uniquely Normal
There once was a girl who didn’t quite fit in. One might say that her hair was pulled back too tight, or that her blouse was one shade too bright. While both of these were problems, they were not the girl’s main flaw. Her downfall stemmed from the core of her being, from the very center of her soul. This girl was a plain girl, an ordinary girl, a normal girl. She was average, typical, and common. For this reason, she did not fit in. She was an outcast, but she did not mind. She simply went about living her life, undeterred in her ways, and marginally happy. Her name was Katie.
One day, however, Katie grew tired of being alone and longed for a companion. Decidedly, she began looking for a friend. Her first step in the process was to think. Katie chose to make a stop at the local Café to get a warm cup of coffee while she stewed over her options. Whilst in line, she chose to be bold and sparked a conversation with the fellow in front of her. He had a scraggly beard, a yellow sock hat, green and brown flannel shirt, tight corduroy pants, and lace-less tennis shoes. “What an odd looking man,” Katie thought. “I should ask him what he is ordering.”
“Excuse me, sir. What are you drinking today?” asked Katie.
The man looked down at her with a slight sneer, and exhaled before replying, “My usual, of course. A venti-soy-chai-latte with sugar-free-amaretto hold-the-foam plus a double-shot-of-espresso and sprinkled with nutmeg. How about you?”
“Just a plain coffee, I guess. With a little cream and sugar,” said Katie.
“Ah-ha, that’s rich. A plain coffee? How boring.”
Katie paused, “Oh. Do you come here often?”
“No, I’m just running late today. I generally prefer to give my business to less commercial cafés than this. Can you believe that they purchase their coffee beans in bulk here?”
“That’s just… awful,” mused Katie.
“Listen, not to be rude, but I was in the process of listening to The Okie-Pokie Swimmers before we started chatting, and I would like to get back to that,” asserted the man.
“Okie-Pokie Swimmers? Never heard of them,” replied Katie.
“No one has,” said the man as he turned around and slipped his headphones over his ears.
A little disgruntled, Katie got her coffee and decided to take a stroll down Main Street, as the weather was very fair and she felt she could use a little fresh air. On her walk, she wandered upon the local YMCA, and thought it might be a good idea to go inside. After all, she was looking to make friends, and what better way than sign up for a community activity? Once inside, she scanned the main lounge and quickly located the front desk. As she approached the desk, she noted the wary glance that the receptionist threw her way. The woman at the desk had striking features: bold eye brows and high cheekbones that were accentuated by the short, blunt bangs zigzagging across her forehead. She was wearing an expensive-looking shimmery top with black leggings and worn-out cowboy boots. Katie decided to compliment the lady’s top in order to begin conversation.
“I really like your, top; it looks expensive! Wherever did you get it?” asked Katie.
The receptionist responded, “Well, I buy most of my clothing secondhand. You probably wouldn’t be able to find another like it. And it wasn’t expensive in the least bit; I only paid $3.”
Katie exclaimed, “What a steal! I will have to remember to shop secondhand sometime.”
“Oh yes, secondhand shopping is becoming quite popular nowadays. If everyone keeps doing it, I will have to end up making my own clothes just to have anything decent to wear!”
A little confused, Katie said, “Oh. Well, anyway I was interested in joining some sort of activity to meet people. I was thinking of possibly yoga, or some sort of scrapbooking club. Do you have any kind of information like that here?”
“We offer a wide variety of unique activities, but many of them are individually led and developed. We have a creative cookware group, a swim-and-paint watercolor group, and a livestock literacy group that all have openings. Would you be interested in any of those?” asked the woman.
“No, that’s okay. I will check back some other time,” replied Katie.
A little discouraged, Katy left the YMCA and headed home. She had not succeeded in finding a friend. All she discovered was that she was more obscure than she thought. She began to wonder if she would ever fit into this world. She wanted to be the same as everyone else, to be a part of the mainstream. Unfortunately, it seemed as if she was destined to never fit in, and always be different.

Note to self:

I HATE GROUP PROJECTS!!!