My mom just sent me this email... Lol.
Kristin
Happy Birthday to you I know you have lots to do
You look like a cross of your parents and you act like one of them too!!
There was once a girl named Kristin.
Who spent a lot of her time texting.
I must confess
this may cause distress,
but socializing with friends made life worth living.
Happy 21st Birthday to Kristin! I hope you will obey and listen.
For you know what I think. Just be sure never to drive and drink!
Kristin turned twenty one today.
We visited her then were forced away.
Although we came miles
To see her birthday smiles
We also want to say hip hip hurray!!
Happy Birthday to you. You Belong at BSU.
You look like a lady and we love you too!! :)
As you can tell I am not a poet and I know it. Just wanted to wish you Happy Birthday one more time!!
Love, Mom
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
No Place Like Home.
I was told today that someone who is supposed to love me unconditionally now loves me less.
And over the past few years I have realized there is not really any place I feel I can call home.
Today I lost what little home I had.
I can't shake this sad feeling anymore. It's lingered the whole summer, and I want it to be gone.
I don't know what I need to fill this emptiness.
And over the past few years I have realized there is not really any place I feel I can call home.
Today I lost what little home I had.
I can't shake this sad feeling anymore. It's lingered the whole summer, and I want it to be gone.
I don't know what I need to fill this emptiness.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
iPod.
How many songs total: 5881 songs
How many hours or days of music: 15 days, 0 hours, 27 minutes, 32 seconds
Sort By Song Title
First Song: A-Punk- Vampire Weekend
Last Song: /=/=/- Andrew Bird
Sort By Time
Shortest Song: Pull In Town- Napoleon Dynamite Soundtrack (0:04)
Longest Song: The Jonestown Death Tape- FBI No. Q042 (44:30)
Sort By Album
First Album: A.T.L. Hole- The Ying Yang Twins
Last Album: 808's & Heartbreak- Kayne West
Top Five Most Played Songs
1. More Than Words- Extreme
2. At Last- Etta James
3. Come Around- M.I.A.
4. Hamburg Song- Keane
5. Northern Downpour- Panic at the Disco
First Song That Comes Up On Shuffle:
We're Sisters- Cheetah Girls
Search The Following & State How Many Songs Come Up:
Death - 89
Life - 90
Love - 261
Hate - 30
You - 669
Sex - 34
How many hours or days of music: 15 days, 0 hours, 27 minutes, 32 seconds
Sort By Song Title
First Song: A-Punk- Vampire Weekend
Last Song: /=/=/- Andrew Bird
Sort By Time
Shortest Song: Pull In Town- Napoleon Dynamite Soundtrack (0:04)
Longest Song: The Jonestown Death Tape- FBI No. Q042 (44:30)
Sort By Album
First Album: A.T.L. Hole- The Ying Yang Twins
Last Album: 808's & Heartbreak- Kayne West
Top Five Most Played Songs
1. More Than Words- Extreme
2. At Last- Etta James
3. Come Around- M.I.A.
4. Hamburg Song- Keane
5. Northern Downpour- Panic at the Disco
First Song That Comes Up On Shuffle:
We're Sisters- Cheetah Girls
Search The Following & State How Many Songs Come Up:
Death - 89
Life - 90
Love - 261
Hate - 30
You - 669
Sex - 34
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Facebook.
I have deactivated my Facebook.
I spend too much time on the site.
And because of advice from a friend, I would like to make myself a more interesting person.
Wonderful.
I spend too much time on the site.
And because of advice from a friend, I would like to make myself a more interesting person.
Wonderful.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Finals.
I. AM. STRESSED.
Too much to do. Too little time.
Too many relationships ruined.
Too much for me to handle.
I am only human.
Too much to do. Too little time.
Too many relationships ruined.
Too much for me to handle.
I am only human.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Shockumentary.
Shockumentary
Just like books, there are many different genres of film. Documentaries are the non-fiction substitute in film, and just like books there is a genre for realistic fiction. In the movie industry this genre is known as “mockumentary.” Mockumentaries present information in a documentary-like format, which often include accurate portrayals of content that at face-value would not necessarily appear to be fictional. While some say mockumentaries are merely a form of a hoax, others believe they are valuable situations. Mockumentaries often introduce new and innovative ways of thinking about society and its constructs. Some mockumentaries may contain extremely satirical possibilities in which to critique certain aspects of popular culture. Filmmakers use this genre as a strategy in shocking and challenging the audience’s perceptions of reality (Hobbs).
The film Cannibal Holocaust is a mockumentary that defies accepted standards of decency and morality. This Italian horror film was released in 1980 and directed by Ruggero Deodato from a screenplay by Gianfranco Clerici. Stars of the film include Luca Barbareschi, Francesca Ciardi, Perry Pirkanen, Carl Gabriel Yorke, and Robert Kerman. The film received much critique and controversy for disturbing scenes of human torture and the inhumane treatment of animals (Bierly).
The plot of Cannibal Holocaust displays a documentary within another documentary. The film begins as a television documentary covering the disappearance of a film crew on an expedition in the Amazon rainforest. An anthropologist named Professor Monroe leads a rescue team from New York to the jungle in search for the missing crew, and after several disturbing events involving the native tribe, only recovers a few reels of film. The missing crew was in the process of documenting a native tribe, and the footage the crew captured is viewed by the television station that sponsored the trip. At first the footage seems reasonable to air, but it is soon discovered the beginning reels were initially staged by the missing crew in the Amazon. Professor Monroe is outraged by this and encourages the television station to view the rest of the footage before airing the documentary. The next few reels of film depict unedited footage of the jungle, and the events are so unsettling that the television station decides to burn the footage instead of airing it.
The events that take place in the jungle spur the most controversy from viewers. To begin, Monroe’s journey is shocking in itself. In the jungle he meets three different tribes, the Yacumo, the Yanomamo, and the Shamatari. One of the first things he sees is the punishment of a Yacumo wife by her husband for committing adultery. The scene depicts the Yacumo husband brutally raping the wife until she dies. Monroe goes back to the village and continues on with his search for the missing crew. He helps the Yanomamo escape an attack from the Shamatari and befriends the tribe. Monroe then gains the trust of the tribe and discovers the missing crew’s film in a shrine. The Yanomamo agree to trade the reels of film in return for Monroe’s tape player.
Monroe leaves the jungle and goes back to New York where he views the footage of the missing crew. The film starts off by showing the death of one of the crew members by the bite of a poisonous snake, which is then killed with a machete. The crew is disrespectful of the Yacumo people and shoots one of the tribesmen in the leg so he will walk slower so they can more easily find the village. Once in the village, the crew members force many Yacumo into a hut and set it on fire in order to stage what would appear to be an attack from a neighboring tribe. The film also shows a disturbing ritual in which the tribe forcibly aborts a baby from a pregnant woman.
The film continues to show the gang-rape of a young Yanomamo girl by the male members of the crew. When the female crew member attempts to stop them, they rape her as well. The tribe finds out about the young girl and impales her with a wooden pole because of her sexual impurity. The tribe then attacks the crew members and strikes one with a spear. Instead of running to his aid, another male crew member shoots his injured peer in order to have the opportunity to film the tribe castrating, disemboweling, cooking and eating the corpse of his friend. The tribe then captures the female crew member, rapes her, and beheads her. Luckily the remaining two crew members capture this footage on camera before they are found and brutally die as well (Jackson).
All these events are explicitly illustrated in the film and leave nothing to the imagination. The scenes are brutal, grotesque, and horrifying, especially to those not akin to viewing graphic horror films. Apart from the human torture, a particularly upsetting part of the film is the amount of animal cruelty. During the course of the film, seven animals were killed, six of them onscreen (Berg, 41). A coatimundi is stabbed in the neck by an actor, and a pig is kicked then shot with a gun. A spider and snake are killed with a machete; two monkeys are also killed with a machete, one occurring onscreen by having its face cut off. The most violent slaughter is that of a sea turtle, in which it is captured and decapitated. The actors then rip the living flesh from its pried open shell and then eat it.
The authenticity of the animal slaughters led many viewers to believe that the human killings were also real. Rumors began to circulate that Deodato had produced a “snuff” film, in which people are actually killed on screen. “In January 1981, a French magazine, Photo, published an article entitled ‘Grand Guignol Cannibale’ which suggested that people may actually have been killed during the making of Cannibal Holocaust” (Petley, 174). Because of pressure from the director Deodato, cast members were encouraged not to share information about how the special effects were executed. Viewers believed that along with the four main cast members, the young girl had actually been impaled with a pole on screen, even though later she revealed the method used to produce the visual effect. Deodato was arrested ten days after the film’s release on account of obscenity charges, where he faced life in prison for the murder of the actors in the film. He had to prove in Italian court that he had not killed anyone during filming. He was finally able to contact all the actors, and they appeared on television in order to prove that they were alive and well. He also had to reveal his visual effect secrets to the public as evidence. Charges were eventually dropped (Morgan, 561).
However, his problems were not yet over. The plan to release the film straight-to-video in order to avoid banning did not work in Deodato’s favor. On February 8, 1980, just four weeks after the release of Cannibal Holocaust in Milan, the Italian magistrate seized copies of the film and prohibited its sale. Due to an old law outlawing bull-fighting, the government was able to ban the film because it contained animal cruelty for what they classified as “entertainment purposes.” This not only prohibited sale of the film, but advertising, promotions, and other factors were cut short. Deodato along with his coworkers received punishment and were suspended from work for four months.
The film was also banned in Australia, Finland, New Zealand, Norway and several other countries, although most have since been lifted. In Britain the film was banned under the Obscene Publications Act, more infamously known as the Video Nasties Act, and also later the Video Recordings Act of 1984. It wasn’t until 2001 that the British Board of Film Classification finally lifted the ban of Cannibal Holocaust, providing that the film was cut short by almost six minutes (Morgan). This ban lasted 18 years and the prohibited film has cut out most of the animal violence and sexual torture.
Supporters of the film Cannibal Holocaust believe that it is either a frightful work of art or a valuable social commentary. The film asks many questions about our society, including considering what is civilized versus uncivilized, and what is actually right and wrong (Carter). The purpose of the film is to compare Western culture to the culture of cannibals. In the movie, the “civilized” Westerners behave just as, if not more, inhumanely as the cannibal tribes. The crew members brutally slaughter animals, take advantage of the native people, and are completely disloyal to the rest of their party. Even though the film is grotesque, there is a deeper meaning that can be taken from viewing it.
The answer to why the film is banned is obvious. Sexual exploitation and violence, animal cruelty, and graphic human disemboweling and castration all contribute to reasons for why the film is inappropriate and unsuitable for many audiences. Many countries have warned the public about the graphic nature of the film by labeling it with an “NC-17” rating. The “NC-17” rating is equivalent to the rating “X,” and recognized that content of the film is deemed not suitable for people under seventeen years of age.
I do not think that the violence depicted in the film would be any type of “gateway media,” like that of violent video games, to younger viewers. The scenes are not glamorized in any way, and the mood is unsettling. However, the violence is so disturbing and graphic that younger and even older audiences would be horrified and sickened. I would think that watching this film in my adolescence would certainly upset me and possibly give me nightmares. This is definitely not a film for a young audience, and so the restricted “NC- 17” rating of the film is appropriate.
I think that Deodato’s film exceeds limits for appropriateness and centers its efforts around being a “shockumentary” rather than a mockumentary. The shock value of the film somewhat overrides the social commentary. The most memorable parts of the movie are not the message of what it means to be civilized, but the visually and mentally disturbing scenes displayed throughout the film. The unethical treatment of animals in the film also raises many concerns. It is a personal choice of whether it is appropriate to kill an animal for a film. Even if people support this, many of those people may not agree that it is appropriate to violently slaughter animals on-screen.
The question still remains: Should this film be banned? Is the message worth sitting through the gore? I strongly believe that this film should not be banned. Nevertheless, I think that this film is not for everyone; there is only a small audience of people that would be able to stomach and appreciate this movie at its full potential. If you are not a horror fan, have an easily upset stomach, are an animal lover, or are extremely offended, you probably will not enjoy this movie in any way. As a fan of gory movies, Cannibal Holocaust is the most brutal film I have ever sat through, and I don’t think there are many, if any, other movies currently available that would exceed the gore-factor of this film. However, Deodato’s new film, Cannibals, is currently in post-production and its release is approaching in 2010. I am curious to see the extent of violence in his film since animal cruelty laws have been put into place. I am excited to see if his new film, a sequel to Cannibal Holocaust, can live up to its hype and controversy.
Works Cited
Berg, Chris. "Have Bad Movies Edged out Good?" Rev. of Sleaze Artists: Cinema at the Margins of Taste, Style, and Politics, by Jeffery Sconce. IPA Review July 2008: 41-43.Www.ipa.org.au. Web.
Bierly, Mandy. "The 25 Most Controversial Movies Ever." Entertainment Weekly June 2006. Web. 22 Apr. 2010.
Carter, David. "Cannibal Holocaust." Savage Cinema The #1 Cult Web Zine. Web. 22 Apr. 2010..
Jackson, Neil. "Cannibal Holocaust, realist horror, and reflexivity." Post Script. (Vol. 21). .3 (Summer 2002): p32. Literature Resource Center. Gale. Ball State University. 22 Apr. 2010.
Jauregui, Carolina G. ""Eat It Alive and Swallow It Whole!": Resavoring Cannibal Holocaust as a Mockumentary." Invisible Culture 7 (2004). University of Rochester. Web.
Morgan, Ed. "Cannibal Holocaust: Digesting and Re-Digesting Law and Film." Southern California Interdisciplinary Law Journal 16.555 (2007): 555-70. USC Research Computing Facility. Web. 22 Apr. 2010.
Petley, Julian. "Cannibal Holocaust and the Pornography of Death." The Spectacle of the Real: from Hollywood to 'reality' TV and beyond. By Geoff King. Bristol, UK: Intellect, 2005. 173-86. Print.
Just like books, there are many different genres of film. Documentaries are the non-fiction substitute in film, and just like books there is a genre for realistic fiction. In the movie industry this genre is known as “mockumentary.” Mockumentaries present information in a documentary-like format, which often include accurate portrayals of content that at face-value would not necessarily appear to be fictional. While some say mockumentaries are merely a form of a hoax, others believe they are valuable situations. Mockumentaries often introduce new and innovative ways of thinking about society and its constructs. Some mockumentaries may contain extremely satirical possibilities in which to critique certain aspects of popular culture. Filmmakers use this genre as a strategy in shocking and challenging the audience’s perceptions of reality (Hobbs).
The film Cannibal Holocaust is a mockumentary that defies accepted standards of decency and morality. This Italian horror film was released in 1980 and directed by Ruggero Deodato from a screenplay by Gianfranco Clerici. Stars of the film include Luca Barbareschi, Francesca Ciardi, Perry Pirkanen, Carl Gabriel Yorke, and Robert Kerman. The film received much critique and controversy for disturbing scenes of human torture and the inhumane treatment of animals (Bierly).
The plot of Cannibal Holocaust displays a documentary within another documentary. The film begins as a television documentary covering the disappearance of a film crew on an expedition in the Amazon rainforest. An anthropologist named Professor Monroe leads a rescue team from New York to the jungle in search for the missing crew, and after several disturbing events involving the native tribe, only recovers a few reels of film. The missing crew was in the process of documenting a native tribe, and the footage the crew captured is viewed by the television station that sponsored the trip. At first the footage seems reasonable to air, but it is soon discovered the beginning reels were initially staged by the missing crew in the Amazon. Professor Monroe is outraged by this and encourages the television station to view the rest of the footage before airing the documentary. The next few reels of film depict unedited footage of the jungle, and the events are so unsettling that the television station decides to burn the footage instead of airing it.
The events that take place in the jungle spur the most controversy from viewers. To begin, Monroe’s journey is shocking in itself. In the jungle he meets three different tribes, the Yacumo, the Yanomamo, and the Shamatari. One of the first things he sees is the punishment of a Yacumo wife by her husband for committing adultery. The scene depicts the Yacumo husband brutally raping the wife until she dies. Monroe goes back to the village and continues on with his search for the missing crew. He helps the Yanomamo escape an attack from the Shamatari and befriends the tribe. Monroe then gains the trust of the tribe and discovers the missing crew’s film in a shrine. The Yanomamo agree to trade the reels of film in return for Monroe’s tape player.
Monroe leaves the jungle and goes back to New York where he views the footage of the missing crew. The film starts off by showing the death of one of the crew members by the bite of a poisonous snake, which is then killed with a machete. The crew is disrespectful of the Yacumo people and shoots one of the tribesmen in the leg so he will walk slower so they can more easily find the village. Once in the village, the crew members force many Yacumo into a hut and set it on fire in order to stage what would appear to be an attack from a neighboring tribe. The film also shows a disturbing ritual in which the tribe forcibly aborts a baby from a pregnant woman.
The film continues to show the gang-rape of a young Yanomamo girl by the male members of the crew. When the female crew member attempts to stop them, they rape her as well. The tribe finds out about the young girl and impales her with a wooden pole because of her sexual impurity. The tribe then attacks the crew members and strikes one with a spear. Instead of running to his aid, another male crew member shoots his injured peer in order to have the opportunity to film the tribe castrating, disemboweling, cooking and eating the corpse of his friend. The tribe then captures the female crew member, rapes her, and beheads her. Luckily the remaining two crew members capture this footage on camera before they are found and brutally die as well (Jackson).
All these events are explicitly illustrated in the film and leave nothing to the imagination. The scenes are brutal, grotesque, and horrifying, especially to those not akin to viewing graphic horror films. Apart from the human torture, a particularly upsetting part of the film is the amount of animal cruelty. During the course of the film, seven animals were killed, six of them onscreen (Berg, 41). A coatimundi is stabbed in the neck by an actor, and a pig is kicked then shot with a gun. A spider and snake are killed with a machete; two monkeys are also killed with a machete, one occurring onscreen by having its face cut off. The most violent slaughter is that of a sea turtle, in which it is captured and decapitated. The actors then rip the living flesh from its pried open shell and then eat it.
The authenticity of the animal slaughters led many viewers to believe that the human killings were also real. Rumors began to circulate that Deodato had produced a “snuff” film, in which people are actually killed on screen. “In January 1981, a French magazine, Photo, published an article entitled ‘Grand Guignol Cannibale’ which suggested that people may actually have been killed during the making of Cannibal Holocaust” (Petley, 174). Because of pressure from the director Deodato, cast members were encouraged not to share information about how the special effects were executed. Viewers believed that along with the four main cast members, the young girl had actually been impaled with a pole on screen, even though later she revealed the method used to produce the visual effect. Deodato was arrested ten days after the film’s release on account of obscenity charges, where he faced life in prison for the murder of the actors in the film. He had to prove in Italian court that he had not killed anyone during filming. He was finally able to contact all the actors, and they appeared on television in order to prove that they were alive and well. He also had to reveal his visual effect secrets to the public as evidence. Charges were eventually dropped (Morgan, 561).
However, his problems were not yet over. The plan to release the film straight-to-video in order to avoid banning did not work in Deodato’s favor. On February 8, 1980, just four weeks after the release of Cannibal Holocaust in Milan, the Italian magistrate seized copies of the film and prohibited its sale. Due to an old law outlawing bull-fighting, the government was able to ban the film because it contained animal cruelty for what they classified as “entertainment purposes.” This not only prohibited sale of the film, but advertising, promotions, and other factors were cut short. Deodato along with his coworkers received punishment and were suspended from work for four months.
The film was also banned in Australia, Finland, New Zealand, Norway and several other countries, although most have since been lifted. In Britain the film was banned under the Obscene Publications Act, more infamously known as the Video Nasties Act, and also later the Video Recordings Act of 1984. It wasn’t until 2001 that the British Board of Film Classification finally lifted the ban of Cannibal Holocaust, providing that the film was cut short by almost six minutes (Morgan). This ban lasted 18 years and the prohibited film has cut out most of the animal violence and sexual torture.
Supporters of the film Cannibal Holocaust believe that it is either a frightful work of art or a valuable social commentary. The film asks many questions about our society, including considering what is civilized versus uncivilized, and what is actually right and wrong (Carter). The purpose of the film is to compare Western culture to the culture of cannibals. In the movie, the “civilized” Westerners behave just as, if not more, inhumanely as the cannibal tribes. The crew members brutally slaughter animals, take advantage of the native people, and are completely disloyal to the rest of their party. Even though the film is grotesque, there is a deeper meaning that can be taken from viewing it.
The answer to why the film is banned is obvious. Sexual exploitation and violence, animal cruelty, and graphic human disemboweling and castration all contribute to reasons for why the film is inappropriate and unsuitable for many audiences. Many countries have warned the public about the graphic nature of the film by labeling it with an “NC-17” rating. The “NC-17” rating is equivalent to the rating “X,” and recognized that content of the film is deemed not suitable for people under seventeen years of age.
I do not think that the violence depicted in the film would be any type of “gateway media,” like that of violent video games, to younger viewers. The scenes are not glamorized in any way, and the mood is unsettling. However, the violence is so disturbing and graphic that younger and even older audiences would be horrified and sickened. I would think that watching this film in my adolescence would certainly upset me and possibly give me nightmares. This is definitely not a film for a young audience, and so the restricted “NC- 17” rating of the film is appropriate.
I think that Deodato’s film exceeds limits for appropriateness and centers its efforts around being a “shockumentary” rather than a mockumentary. The shock value of the film somewhat overrides the social commentary. The most memorable parts of the movie are not the message of what it means to be civilized, but the visually and mentally disturbing scenes displayed throughout the film. The unethical treatment of animals in the film also raises many concerns. It is a personal choice of whether it is appropriate to kill an animal for a film. Even if people support this, many of those people may not agree that it is appropriate to violently slaughter animals on-screen.
The question still remains: Should this film be banned? Is the message worth sitting through the gore? I strongly believe that this film should not be banned. Nevertheless, I think that this film is not for everyone; there is only a small audience of people that would be able to stomach and appreciate this movie at its full potential. If you are not a horror fan, have an easily upset stomach, are an animal lover, or are extremely offended, you probably will not enjoy this movie in any way. As a fan of gory movies, Cannibal Holocaust is the most brutal film I have ever sat through, and I don’t think there are many, if any, other movies currently available that would exceed the gore-factor of this film. However, Deodato’s new film, Cannibals, is currently in post-production and its release is approaching in 2010. I am curious to see the extent of violence in his film since animal cruelty laws have been put into place. I am excited to see if his new film, a sequel to Cannibal Holocaust, can live up to its hype and controversy.
Works Cited
Berg, Chris. "Have Bad Movies Edged out Good?" Rev. of Sleaze Artists: Cinema at the Margins of Taste, Style, and Politics, by Jeffery Sconce. IPA Review July 2008: 41-43.Www.ipa.org.au. Web.
Bierly, Mandy. "The 25 Most Controversial Movies Ever." Entertainment Weekly June 2006. Web. 22 Apr. 2010.
Carter, David. "Cannibal Holocaust." Savage Cinema The #1 Cult Web Zine. Web. 22 Apr. 2010.
Jackson, Neil. "Cannibal Holocaust, realist horror, and reflexivity." Post Script. (Vol. 21). .3 (Summer 2002): p32. Literature Resource Center. Gale. Ball State University. 22 Apr. 2010.
Jauregui, Carolina G. ""Eat It Alive and Swallow It Whole!": Resavoring Cannibal Holocaust as a Mockumentary." Invisible Culture 7 (2004). University of Rochester. Web.
Morgan, Ed. "Cannibal Holocaust: Digesting and Re-Digesting Law and Film." Southern California Interdisciplinary Law Journal 16.555 (2007): 555-70. USC Research Computing Facility. Web. 22 Apr. 2010.
Petley, Julian. "Cannibal Holocaust and the Pornography of Death." The Spectacle of the Real: from Hollywood to 'reality' TV and beyond. By Geoff King. Bristol, UK: Intellect, 2005. 173-86. Print.
Cannibal Holocaust.
I am currently writing a paper on this movie and I can't believe it is actually online.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Ohio.
Tonight I went on a spontaneous trip to Cincinnati.
We arrived at around midnight and went to the night club Metropolis until about 2 a.m.
We also got lost on the way back, and the less than 2 hour trip ended up turning into a more than 3 hour trip.
What do I have to show for it?
X's on the back of my hands, a few photos, and memories that I will never forget.
I am so glad that I finally got to take a mini-vacation.
I love girl's night!
We arrived at around midnight and went to the night club Metropolis until about 2 a.m.
We also got lost on the way back, and the less than 2 hour trip ended up turning into a more than 3 hour trip.
What do I have to show for it?
X's on the back of my hands, a few photos, and memories that I will never forget.
I am so glad that I finally got to take a mini-vacation.
I love girl's night!
Friday, April 2, 2010
Kisses.
I just realized...
Enough time has passed since I last even kissed a boy that I could have birthed a child.
Lol.
Enough time has passed since I last even kissed a boy that I could have birthed a child.
Lol.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Here We Go!
Live authentically?
----------
I'm Mario, bitch
Watch me level up
Cable Tvs,turn em up
Jumping and jerking like you see my c-cup
If you're the boss
I hope it's rough
Hand you the controller
Show you how to roll her
You know I am a gamer
Which means I am a player
I pound it out
Without a doubt, make you shout
Getting buzzed and loud
We're all in the clouds
Wiggle of the finger
A stroke of the thumb
Don't stop playing till your hand is numb
Pushing all the buttons
This is a game can't be paused
Up, down, side to side
Working for the applause
You can smack em and whack em
Let's see if you can tap em
Like Mrs. Pacman
I eat em and and beat em
Swallow the dot
Make sure to taste the cherry
Just don't get caught
----------
I'm Mario, bitch
Watch me level up
Cable Tvs,turn em up
Jumping and jerking like you see my c-cup
If you're the boss
I hope it's rough
Hand you the controller
Show you how to roll her
You know I am a gamer
Which means I am a player
I pound it out
Without a doubt, make you shout
Getting buzzed and loud
We're all in the clouds
Wiggle of the finger
A stroke of the thumb
Don't stop playing till your hand is numb
Pushing all the buttons
This is a game can't be paused
Up, down, side to side
Working for the applause
You can smack em and whack em
Let's see if you can tap em
Like Mrs. Pacman
I eat em and and beat em
Swallow the dot
Make sure to taste the cherry
Just don't get caught
Monday, March 29, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
Books.
Books I've read this semester:
A Thousand Splendid Suns
Corpus Christi
The Handmaid's Tale
Persepolis (Complete)
Fahrenheit 451
The Communist Manifesto
Slaughterhouse Five
Devil in the White City
Things Fall Apart
The Color Purple
The Joys of Motherhood
Books I am currently reading:
Mrs. Dalloway
Lady Chatterly's Lover
A Thousand Splendid Suns
Corpus Christi
The Handmaid's Tale
Persepolis (Complete)
Fahrenheit 451
The Communist Manifesto
Slaughterhouse Five
Devil in the White City
Things Fall Apart
The Color Purple
The Joys of Motherhood
Books I am currently reading:
Mrs. Dalloway
Lady Chatterly's Lover
Friday, March 5, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Lent.
Although I am not Catholic, I think the concept of Lent is a valuable step in reaching self-actualization. Therefore, I will be participating this year. My plan is to give up something that plays too much of a role in my life, and well as practice my own version of fasting.
What I plan to do for Lent:
Cut out excess sweets. This in particular means NO BROWNIES, CHEESECAKE, or COOKIES.
Also, no non-diet soda or snacking.
I will attempt to rid myself from feeling self-conscious, self-doubt, self-pity and a lack of self-esteem. This means I cannot put myself down in front of others and I need to stop complaining. I will also stop trying to "out-do" others with how much my life sucks.
Modifications may be made.
This is a note to self.
What I plan to do for Lent:
Cut out excess sweets. This in particular means NO BROWNIES, CHEESECAKE, or COOKIES.
Also, no non-diet soda or snacking.
I will attempt to rid myself from feeling self-conscious, self-doubt, self-pity and a lack of self-esteem. This means I cannot put myself down in front of others and I need to stop complaining. I will also stop trying to "out-do" others with how much my life sucks.
Modifications may be made.
This is a note to self.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Valentine's Day.
Here is another post about a single person's perspective on Valentine's Day:
Valentine's Day is tomorrow, and I am a single lady.
Here are my plans:
I will go to work from 6 am to 10 am. After work, I will probably go back to my room and take a nap or study for my Inqisit exam that I have at 2 pm. After my exam, I will spend the rest of the day reading or shopping or on the internet.
This looks like a pretty regular day to me. Not much time to feel sorry for myself. I am not sure I would even know it was Valentine's Day if I wouldn't have looked it up earlier.
If I had a boyfriend, this is what I would be doing tomorrow:
I would wake up to the sound of my door closing. My eyes would flutter open, and I would notice a beautiful bouquet of roses next to me on the pillow, and along with it, a note. The note would tell me to get dressed and follow the trail of rose petals out of my room, which I would do. They would lead me outside to where a Batmobile would be waiting for me on the sidewalk. My boyfriend would then press a button so the door opens for me and I would climb into the vehicle. We would jet off across the lawn and around campus, then the Batmobile would turn into a Batplane and we would fly by the windows of the residence halls throwing out fine wrapped chocolates and waving to all our friends. Then we would fly to Montana where we spend the rest of the morning horseback riding through the mountains. My boyfriend would then surprise me with a quaint picnic in a shaded clearing, where we would eat homemade finger sandwiches and chocolate-covered strawberries and drink sparkling cider. After our romantic picnic, we would ride back to the Batplane and fly to New York, where we would go explore the MoMA and take pictures of sights of the city and go shopping at all the fine boutiques. Then my boyfriend would take me to the Statue of Liberty, where we attend a glamorous ball and enjoy a live performance by Lady Gaga, M.I.A., Drake, Lil' Wayne, Panic at the Disco, and Tony Bennett. I forgot to mention that my boyfriend is Zac Efron. We dance, mingle, and laugh the entire evening, until we find ourselves in the torch of the Statue of Liberty to watch the sunset. I would be nervous and scared because of the heights, but my boyfriend would embrace me and assures me that I am safe, curing my fear of heights. Then we would kiss and fireworks would explode around us. We would get back into the Batplane and fly to his house, where we would snuggle and watch the new season of America's Next Top Model and drink hot cocoa and then watch Flesh for Frankenstein. During the movie Flesh for Frankenstein, I would fall asleep in his arms.
I am really glad I don't have a boyfriend though, because if I did, I would miss work, fail my exam, and get no homework done. It all just works out nicely.
Happy VD!!
Valentine's Day is tomorrow, and I am a single lady.
Here are my plans:
I will go to work from 6 am to 10 am. After work, I will probably go back to my room and take a nap or study for my Inqisit exam that I have at 2 pm. After my exam, I will spend the rest of the day reading or shopping or on the internet.
This looks like a pretty regular day to me. Not much time to feel sorry for myself. I am not sure I would even know it was Valentine's Day if I wouldn't have looked it up earlier.
If I had a boyfriend, this is what I would be doing tomorrow:
I would wake up to the sound of my door closing. My eyes would flutter open, and I would notice a beautiful bouquet of roses next to me on the pillow, and along with it, a note. The note would tell me to get dressed and follow the trail of rose petals out of my room, which I would do. They would lead me outside to where a Batmobile would be waiting for me on the sidewalk. My boyfriend would then press a button so the door opens for me and I would climb into the vehicle. We would jet off across the lawn and around campus, then the Batmobile would turn into a Batplane and we would fly by the windows of the residence halls throwing out fine wrapped chocolates and waving to all our friends. Then we would fly to Montana where we spend the rest of the morning horseback riding through the mountains. My boyfriend would then surprise me with a quaint picnic in a shaded clearing, where we would eat homemade finger sandwiches and chocolate-covered strawberries and drink sparkling cider. After our romantic picnic, we would ride back to the Batplane and fly to New York, where we would go explore the MoMA and take pictures of sights of the city and go shopping at all the fine boutiques. Then my boyfriend would take me to the Statue of Liberty, where we attend a glamorous ball and enjoy a live performance by Lady Gaga, M.I.A., Drake, Lil' Wayne, Panic at the Disco, and Tony Bennett. I forgot to mention that my boyfriend is Zac Efron. We dance, mingle, and laugh the entire evening, until we find ourselves in the torch of the Statue of Liberty to watch the sunset. I would be nervous and scared because of the heights, but my boyfriend would embrace me and assures me that I am safe, curing my fear of heights. Then we would kiss and fireworks would explode around us. We would get back into the Batplane and fly to his house, where we would snuggle and watch the new season of America's Next Top Model and drink hot cocoa and then watch Flesh for Frankenstein. During the movie Flesh for Frankenstein, I would fall asleep in his arms.
I am really glad I don't have a boyfriend though, because if I did, I would miss work, fail my exam, and get no homework done. It all just works out nicely.
Happy VD!!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Shoes.
I thought I knew what loneliness was.
I didn't. What I knew was an infatuation.
Loneliness is this. Loneliness is now.
Loneliness is sure to be the future.
The tears can't stop falling because no one will notice you cried in the first place.
The people you invest so much of yourself into throw you aside as soon as better things come along.
You are scared to meet others because you know they will leave you.
Loneliness is being bored with yourself.
All you have is you. Your accomplishments, your failures.
Why try when there is no one to disappoint?
Why exist alone?
We are not meant to be alone.
Shoes have the basics.
Tongues. Soles.
Shoes come in pairs.
They work better in pairs.
Shoes should match.
Shoes are manufactured by man.
Man is manufactured by society.
Society is run by men.
Shoes epitomize our purpose.
When they are worn, shoes are retired.
Some shoes are fancy.
Some are functional. Some are comfortable.
Some are painful. Some are expensive.
Some are carefully crafted.
Others are accidental.
We need shoes as much as shoes need us.
I didn't. What I knew was an infatuation.
Loneliness is this. Loneliness is now.
Loneliness is sure to be the future.
The tears can't stop falling because no one will notice you cried in the first place.
The people you invest so much of yourself into throw you aside as soon as better things come along.
You are scared to meet others because you know they will leave you.
Loneliness is being bored with yourself.
All you have is you. Your accomplishments, your failures.
Why try when there is no one to disappoint?
Why exist alone?
We are not meant to be alone.
Shoes have the basics.
Tongues. Soles.
Shoes come in pairs.
They work better in pairs.
Shoes should match.
Shoes are manufactured by man.
Man is manufactured by society.
Society is run by men.
Shoes epitomize our purpose.
When they are worn, shoes are retired.
Some shoes are fancy.
Some are functional. Some are comfortable.
Some are painful. Some are expensive.
Some are carefully crafted.
Others are accidental.
We need shoes as much as shoes need us.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
I'm All Alone.
I'm all alone
At the drive-in movie
It's a feelin' that ain't too groovy
Watchin' werewolves without you...
Gee, it's no fun
Drinkin' beer in the backseat
All alone just ain't too neat
At the passion pit wanting you.
And when the intermission elf moves the clock's hands
While he's eating everything sold at the stands,
When there's one minute to go
'Till the lights go down low,
I'll be holding the speaker knobs
Missing you so-o-o!
Can't believe it,
Unsteamed windows I can see through.
Might as well be in an igloo,
'Cause the heater doesn't work...
As good as you...
Baby, come back!
At the drive-in movie
It's a feelin' that ain't too groovy
Watchin' werewolves without you...
Gee, it's no fun
Drinkin' beer in the backseat
All alone just ain't too neat
At the passion pit wanting you.
And when the intermission elf moves the clock's hands
While he's eating everything sold at the stands,
When there's one minute to go
'Till the lights go down low,
I'll be holding the speaker knobs
Missing you so-o-o!
Can't believe it,
Unsteamed windows I can see through.
Might as well be in an igloo,
'Cause the heater doesn't work...
As good as you...
Baby, come back!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
ROFL.
Rolling on the floor laughing (ROFL) has a totally different meaning for people in wheelchairs.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Just One Day.
I was looking at my old blogs on Xanga, and came across this song I wrote for my grandpa right before he died.
The emotions I get from these lyrics are still strong, which is interesting considering they are so poorly written. It is completely humbling, yet I would never take these words or thoughts back.
Just One Day
I’m standing here,
Looking at you.
Trying to think,
Of what to do.
You're so helpless.
So filled with pain,
Unsure of whether you’ll
Ever see the sunrise again.
You’re slipping farther,
The time draws nearer.
Every second,
Fills us more with fear.
But look at me,
I’m still strong and young.
I’m sure I won’t regret,
What I’m about to do when I’m done.
If I could switch places,
With you for just one day,
So that you could enjoy living,
One last time.
To get out and do,
All you want to do.
And give you a moment to shine,
This pain you’re not deserving,
I’ll glady to bear the hurting.
Because all I want to do,
Is give just one day of my life to you.
I should hurry,
It’s almost too late.
I want to do this before
You reach the pearly gate.
I can see that,
You’re almost gone.
All you can do,
Is to try to hold on.
If I could switch places,
With you for just one day,
So that you could enjoy living,
One last time.
To get out and do,
All you want to do.
And give you a moment to shine,
This pain you’re not deserving,
I’ll glady to bear the hurting.
Because all I want to do,
Is give just one day of my life to you.
The emotions I get from these lyrics are still strong, which is interesting considering they are so poorly written. It is completely humbling, yet I would never take these words or thoughts back.
Just One Day
I’m standing here,
Looking at you.
Trying to think,
Of what to do.
You're so helpless.
So filled with pain,
Unsure of whether you’ll
Ever see the sunrise again.
You’re slipping farther,
The time draws nearer.
Every second,
Fills us more with fear.
But look at me,
I’m still strong and young.
I’m sure I won’t regret,
What I’m about to do when I’m done.
If I could switch places,
With you for just one day,
So that you could enjoy living,
One last time.
To get out and do,
All you want to do.
And give you a moment to shine,
This pain you’re not deserving,
I’ll glady to bear the hurting.
Because all I want to do,
Is give just one day of my life to you.
I should hurry,
It’s almost too late.
I want to do this before
You reach the pearly gate.
I can see that,
You’re almost gone.
All you can do,
Is to try to hold on.
If I could switch places,
With you for just one day,
So that you could enjoy living,
One last time.
To get out and do,
All you want to do.
And give you a moment to shine,
This pain you’re not deserving,
I’ll glady to bear the hurting.
Because all I want to do,
Is give just one day of my life to you.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
Lunch.
I am eating cereal with a fork.
Note to self:
Carry reading material in backpack for the downtime between classes.
Be productive.
Note to self:
Carry reading material in backpack for the downtime between classes.
Be productive.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Alabama.
I am not sure what I used to do on the internet.
I really haven't missed it this week.
Hopefully I will remember not to waste time anymore.
I had such a great time in Alabama.
I haven't done anything like that lately, and I regret my lack of spontaneity...
I have gotten lazy.
I miss the girl I used to be.
I really haven't missed it this week.
Hopefully I will remember not to waste time anymore.
I had such a great time in Alabama.
I haven't done anything like that lately, and I regret my lack of spontaneity...
I have gotten lazy.
I miss the girl I used to be.
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